Best Cheap Secret Santa Christmas Presents

So you've got a fiver to spend on someone you don't really like. Welcome to Office Secret Santa. Here's some top gifts for about a fiver for your secret Santa:

Secret Santa: Someone You Like - Female

Paint Your Own Mug from Stocking Fillers
In every office there's someone that pinches mugs - we have our own! So why not get back at them and give your friend a mug that they can paint a picture on or a messasge like "keep your mitts off my mug!"? That should go down well. Now if they're a nice person they may paint fluffy clouds or flowers or something. See what they come up with! You can get it from Stocking Fillers for just £3.99.

Say It - Photo Magnets which you personalise yourself by Getting Personal
Say it like you mean it with these magnetic speech bubbles, complete with a dry-wipe marker for you to write what you want from Getting Personal for just £4.95.

Personalised Picture – Hamster by Getting Personal
He wont love it, he'll definitely hate it, buy him a personalised picture of a hamster from Getting Personal for just £4.95. He just won't get it!

Secret Santa: Someone You Don't Like - Male

PooPoo Pooing Santa from Findmeagift
Come on, you really musn't like them if you're getting them a Poing santa! But for £1.99 you really are tight but, hey, you don't like them!!

DeadFred Pen Holder from Prezziesplus
Now I'm not saying you want a collegue dead, but you could have a little chuckle at them. It may be a tad over your budget at £6.95, but its quite cool! You can get it from Prezziesplus, Need A Present, Find Me A Gift, Getting Personal, Gadget Shop, Drink Stuff, Play.com, Firebox or Gadgets.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: Your Boss - Male

Crazy Court Cases Book from Hawkin's Bazaar
There's got to be some HR-related court cases in their somewhere. Make them think about the consequences of their actions. They'll have a really nice Christmas sweating about a possible impending court case - oh you're so cruel!!

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Woman You Fancy

Flashing Champagne Flute from
Prezziesplus
Buy these for the woman you love, then invite her back to yours to use them. These flutes make anyone the centre of the party and at only £3.99 from Prezziesplus they are an absolute bargain!

Hot Packs (Hothearts Twin Pack) from Firebox
Show her you care by never letting her hands go cold with these Hothearts. Only £4.95 from Firebox

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Man You Fancy

QWERTY Magnets (LOVE U) from Firebox
Tell him you love him with the use of these magnetic keyboard keys. If he doesn't get the message than he needs shooting!!

Control-a-woman Control from Getting Personal
Give him ideas with this female remote control. And as a bloke I know we need them. Is there a "don't talk during the football", or a "don't start a conversation when the important bits are on" button?

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Woman You Don't Like

Hilarious Desktop Signs from Getting Personal
Leave it on the sign that shows how much you like her before wrapping, that should get the message across. Worth every penny at £4.95 from Getting Personal

Hilarious Desktop Signs from Gadget Pages
Give her a complex with this diet decision maker from Gadget Pages. Stop her from eating the last biscuit all the time for only £4.95. I can imagine the look in her face when she gets this bad boy! Frowns all round!

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Quiet Woman

Pink Starlite Fibre Optic Light from Prezzies Plus
Put some light back in her life for only £4.99 from Prezzies Plus. She's sure to love this on her desk - or will just sit there mesmerised!

La La Headband from Gadget Pages
She no longer has to speak to anyone using her new La La I'm not listening headband. Keep her in the silence she enjoys for £3.99 from Gadget Pages.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Quiet Man

Mini Zen Garden from Prezzies Plus
Relaxing could not be easier with this mini zen garden, complete with all the things he needs to centre his chi when the loud people are near. Keep him calm for £6.00 from Prezzies Plus.

Wrapped Lollies from Yellow Moon
20 lollies, if he wasn't quiet before, he will be now! Get all 120 for £5.99 from Yellow Moon.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Loud Woman

Dream Hunks Stripping Mug from Prezzies Plus
Make her coffee break an even better experience by getting her a mug that strips when you put hot water in. Only £4.50 through Prezzies Plus. You may need to do a risk assesment first - will she get a heart attack and sue you? Hopefully not!

Jungle Animal Foam Masks from Yellow Moon
She'll go wild when she see's these elasticated animal masks, roaring with laughter, the office wont get any quieter. Go monkey mad for only £4.99 at Yellow Moon.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: The Loud Man

Jungle Animal Foam Masks from Prezzies Plus
Give him something to really talk about with a stripping mug. Pour hot water in and her bikini comes off. Make him smile for only £2.99 from Prezzies Plus.

Car Auto Kits from Yellow Moon
Vrooom Vrooom is all you will hear throughout December and January with these make your own car kits. Put the kit together, then race it round the office for only £4.99 from Yellow Moon.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: For The Office Smoker

Shock Lighter from Gadgets UK
They'll get a shock next time they try to light up with this novelty lighter. Try to light a cigarette and receive a shock, a great help for someone trying to quit. Only £4.95 from Gadgets UK.

3D Door Pad No Smoking from Yellow Moon
Get them to quit with this 3D sign for only £5 from Prezzies Plus. And if that doesn't work then you could try something a bit more subtle, but less painful than dieing of cancer.

Secret Santa Gift Ideas: Still Stuck? Try Something Random!

Magic Dinosaurs from Yellow Moon
Grow your own dinosaurs by adding the liquid to the egg. See how big you can get yours! Yellow Moon.

Bullshit Button from Gadgets UK
Don't waste your breath telling it how it is, use the bullshit button instead. £5.95 from Gadgets UK.