10 Worst Footwear Gifts This Christmas (Ugg Boots & More)

What processes women, girls and teenagers to buy hideous footwear like Ugg Boots? They're dreadful and real passion killers if you ask me!

Like come on! How is this sexy? Take the photo from the knees up and then maybe?



The thing is that you see girls in the heat of summer, its blistering hot, they've got sweat patches under their arms and they wearing UGG boots, like WTF!! What would Pamela Anderson look like wearing Ugg boots?



So here are my top 10 worst footwear to buy your wife or girlfriend this Christmas:

1) UGG Classic Short
People pay £139.99 for these and then eat, drink, sleep, have sex in them for the next year until they smell of a American Jock's underwear! How on earth can people that wear UGG boots think they're sexy? It's just beyond me!

2) Sidney Button Boot Ii
So you're saving £100 with the Sidney Button Boot and you're looking less of a prick wearing them. Girls were wearing these in the 80's when I was growing up and they were dreadful then. You just might as well wear a plastic bag on you're feat as they'll be just as flattering. These are just shocking and a "must avoid Christmas gift" this year!

3) Wellibob
Can you hear me scream Noooo! from here? What's the point of wearing a Wellington boot that just covers your ankles? It's like having half an umbrella - completely pointless! If you want to keep your feet dry either wear a proper Wellington boot like this stylish one from Shipton & Heneage or some pink ones from Greenfingers. Please don't buy them!

4) Snowjoggers Classic Black
The thing is that these boots are much like Ugg boots in that I can understand people wearing them when its -50 degrees and its a choice of being fashionable or alive. But we don't often have extreme temperatures in this country! We're a temperate country, but it seems one with no sense of style. Apparently Liv Tyler wears them, but she'll look hot in anything, if you're not as sexy as her then don't buy them - that goes for Victoria Beckham as well, with all your money surely you can find something more appropriate to wear on your feet? I can't think of far better things to spend £70 on like this Introduction to Making Jewellery day from Virgin Experience days for only £69.

5) Ladies Emu Matilda Sheepskin Boot Chestnut
Look, if you can't afford Ugg Boots then just admit it. Buying "replica" or look-a-like Ugg boots won't do you any favours with your mates. So you're willing to spend £39 on some look-a-likies from Extreme Pie - don't bother! If you really want that look (gawd knows why) then spend that extra £100 and get the real things for a couple of weeks and just not eat for a couple of weeks (I'm kidding alright!). And I can't believe that John Lewis sell these as well! Shocking!!

6) Sky High from BananaShoes
It doesn't take a genius to work out why you shouldn't waste your £79 on a a pair of boots that these from
Banana Shoes - its because you'll look like a hooker and give yourself an injury! So you're going to go out looking like that? You'll be in the club moaning about your feet and wanting to go home at midnight! At least you'll get loads of attention from men old enough to be your dad and have never seen a razor and a toothbrush! Your choice!

7) Replay Ladies Rodeo Boots in White from Top Brands Direct
Do you own a horse, gun and can lasso a cow from 20 feet? No, so don't buy cowboy boots. They look dreadful, and your legs are probably too damn skinny anyway! But now if you're wearing a short and cowboy hat then I'm willing to change my mind! But unless you've got the figure for them then they'll do nothing for you. Stay clear of these Rodeo boots from Top Brands Direct - Unless you're Jessica Simpson of course:

8) Nike Lady Air Max PM SL Fitness Shoe from Sportsshoes.com
Are you going to play golf, go for a jog or going shopping? These "trainers" remind me of those schizophrenic cars that don't know if they're a 4x4, a hatchback or a cruising car. If you want trainers then get a pair, don't buy this rubbish because you think it looks "cool", because it doesn't! Make up your mind what you want to wear and save your £35.99 for a decent pair of trainers!

9) Ted Baker Clan Slippers, Stone from John Lewis
You don't have to be a Scouser to wear these, but it helps! These are just hideous, and I expect you'll be thinking they'd look great with that track suit you wear every Saturday to go down the shops? No, just no, it makes you look a prat! If you want a dog, buy a dog, don't wear a dog on your feat! John Lewis should know better!

10) DOLCE & GABBANA Boots from John Lewis
These boots do look shocking, but the main reason I've listed them is that they're £710! Like hello, are any boots worth that amount of money? How long do you have to work before you can afford to buy a pair of boots that expensive? Don't you know there's a credit crunch on? Save the money and give yourself a nice statement from your credit card company that you've cleared your outstanding balance and don't waste it on tatt that you'll wear once, throw up on and then leave under your bed until you move out of home!

What are your best pair of shoes then? Am I right or am I right? If you really had to get some UGG Boots then get them from Cloggs as you'd save 5% with the discount code OCTUGG5.